lawyer married a woman who had previously divorced ten husbands.
On their wedding night, she told her new husband, "Please be gentle; I'm
still a virgin.
"What?" said the puzzled groom.
"How can that be if you've been married ten times?
"Well, husband #1 was a Sales Representative; he kept telling me how great
it was going to be.
Husband #2 was in Software Services; he was never really sure how it was
supposed to function, but he said he'd look into it and get back to me.
Husband #3 was from Field Services; he said everything checked out
diagnostically but he just couldn't get the system up.
Husband #4 was in Telemarketing; even though he knew he had the order, he
didn't know when he would be able to deliver.
Husband #5 was an Engineer; he understood the basic process but wanted three
years to research, implement, and design a new state-of-the-art method.
Husband #6 was from Finance and Administration; he thought he knew how, but
he wasn't sure whether it was his job or not.
Husband #7 was in Marketing; although he had a product, he was never sure
how to position it.
Husband #8 was a psychiatrist; all he ever did was talk about it.
Husband #9 was a gynaecologist; all he did was look at it.
Husband #10 was a stamp collector; all he ever did was ... God, I miss him!
But now that I've married you, I'm really excited!"
"Good," said the husband, "but, why?"
"Duh; you're a LAWYER. This time I KNOW I'm gonna get screwed!"